Air Pollution

I prefer skinny jeans and Letterman jackets and I leave my tea out because I don't like it too warm. I take in the air around me and I don't feel like I'm here. My feet are chained to the ground, but my mind must be far away in the deep reaches of space.


hello, moon
do not run away
you are my only friend
the sun has many friends
i am left with none 
the only pronouns i know is you and we
never me
hello moon,
please don’t leave my side
in case i want to run away 


my eyes are heavy
yet they’re facing the sky
my bones are crumbling
but i’m still standing
i’m in the eye of the hurricane
but the edge is on my way
it is quite alright
i’ll let them take me away
and maybe i’ll disintegrate
into molecules
and possibly musical notes 


i’ll refuse your tidal wave
with my half-assed attempt at an earthquake
will you listen this time?
i’ll move techtonic plates to let you know
how much you mean to me
but don’t let this earth crumble away
and leave me in the desert
when i belong in the rain
are you listening? 


i’ve forgotten who i am
i’ve forgotten the face i see
i’ve forgotten who the person in the mirror is
it seems all so mysterious
and i feel unknown
and i feel lost
like scattered paper on a windy day
i’m not in control
i’m slowly falling apart 


there is a fine line between

there is a difference between
blasting music and bleeding ears
the bass replacing your heartbeat
the television playing in the background 
or simply no music at all. 

the flashes of bright white lights
a table lamp burning through the night.

the sound of joyous screams
keeping you up all night
the sound of balanced chatter and laughter
a mix of conversations in the intrigued voice 
weaving through the air like the sound of falling rain
calmly bringing you to your senses
as you slowly
fall asleep. 


i thought this was going to be easier
than i thought it would be
they said, “this is your thing.
you’re good at this, anyways.”
if they said that, why am i
struggling to latch on to this ledge
already slippery from the rain?
i can’t find the words to
become something anymore.
creating useless line-breaks
as we cross the line to the next day.
i’m tired and i want to go to bed.
the sun is asleep
and the moon does not want to do her job. 


how easy it was for her
to rest her head against his shoulder
her cheek brushing against wool

how easy it was for him
to feel the warmth of her hand
and knitting fingers

these stars in the sky
oh so fragile
how easy it is for them to fall 


i’m sorry i skipped a day
the night was merely begging me
to venture into the oblivion
and oblivion i haven’t seen in a while 
and that’s what kept me going
flashes of fake 
snippets of what could have been
it’s hard to remember all these things
i’m falling back behind time 


sleep-deprived days 
dragging feet against the sand
throbbing minds and
deep-fried lies
was all that consumed of me
eating me up inside
until i was hollow,
skin and bone
and all that was left
were bits and pieces
of what used to be
maybe if i go to bed
everything will be all better 


speak for me, wind
the air around me,
for i cannot find the words
to express myself. 
oxygen and silence go hand in hand
and i feel myself
slipping away
from these two necessities